One Year Ago

In October, 2011 I woke up and breathed a prayer of thanks. I was grateful to have had a solid night of uninterrupted sleep. It would be the last time I uttered that prayer for almost 10 months.

One year ago today I gave birth to T. You can re-read that story here.

Twelve short months ago I started the fun adventure of getting to know my son. And what a marvelous boy he is! He is calm, determined, cheerful. He doesn't ooze sunshine. But when he smiles, he smiles with his whole body. And since those smiles aren't  thrown about the place pell-mell, they are all the more precious. It takes him awhile to warm up to new people and new environments. Though a very contented baby who entertains himself, he is strongly attached to his Mama. And I am doing nothing to break that bond. He loves to jump. He is very inquisitive. He is more than the fulfillment of a dream. I never could have created such a wonderful child on my own.

One year ago I fell head over heels in love with a new little man. Somehow, unbelievably, I have grown even more in love. The more I know this sweet child the more I love him. Sometimes I literally want to scream because I can not contain the affection I feel for him.

I started breastfeeding. I'm still breastfeeding. I know this is a gracious gift from God. Breastfeeding was not easy. But it was important to me. Now it's easy, which is good, because it is now VERY important. Our alternative nutrition costs over $500/month.

This child has spent a significant portion of his life scaring me. At twelve weeks pregnant we thought he had died. At 32 weeks pregnant he decided to get a funky heart rhythm. A shining happy report made me think that we had survived the one health scare everyone is allotted and that everything would be beautiful. While life with T is beautiful, it is not a free of health scares. I had no idea one year ago that the first time I held my son his body would be limp. I never dreamed I would feel his lifeless body in my arms again just a few months later.

But today his body is not lifeless. He rolls, and sits, and stands, and cruises, and peg-leg crawls. He breathes, he laughs, he sighs and cries. Today he is full of life. (and it's a good skin day to boot!)

Today my heart is filled with gratitude and joy at the thrill of knowing and loving T.

copyright (c) Elizabeth, Bug's Beef. All rights reserved.