To the Mom of the healthy child,
Hello. My son has food allergies. And by allergies I mean allergies. Life threatening. Shock inducing. Anaphylaxis. Wherever my son is, his epi-pen is near by.
I know that other spastic moms misrepresent their children's intolerances as allergies. It makes me want to roll my eyes, too. You're right, an upset tummy does not an allergy make. Though nasty diapers are not fun, they are not allergies. I might be a spaz, but I am not making an intolerance out to be an allergy.
I have sat in the back of a zooming car, wedged between carseats, fighting to help my baby maintain consciousness. I have dashed into emergency rooms holding a limp child in my arms. I still remember the look on my son's face as the tourniquet slipped and squeezed his eyes as the nurses frantically tried to gain IV access through his head.
I don't say this because I want pity. I want you to believe me and try to understand me.
I know your kid can't make it through the morning without their goldfish. But my kid can't sustain life if he eats that goldfish.
Imagine if you walked in the nursery and saw my baby playing with his epi-pen. It is more dangerous for my son to eat your child's snack than it is for your child to be injected with mine's medication. One of your crackers is more threatening than a whole vial of epinephrine.
You just want your sweet thing to stay happy, I want mine to stay alive.
There's a solid chance you think I should just stay home if it's that scary. Could you? Would you? If your kid is out with mine there's a good chance that one of you needs a break.
Do you remember how annoying it was when dudes gave you advice when you were pregnant? Or when the mom who was in pre-pregnancy clothes at her six week check up said that breastfeeding was her weight loss plan? Please don't tell me that chicken broth will fix this. Or that if I had only taken probiotics while pregnant I could have avoided everything. It's not true, and it's not helpful.
I don't expect you to accomodate our medical restrictions. Please understand, though, that seeing your child with their milk is the same as seeing a cobra coiled in the corner. Yes, we will work on teaching my son self control. He will know to never try anyone else's food or drink. But for right now, we're working on walking.
Sincerely,
Mom of the child with food allergies
copyright (c) Elizabeth, Bug's Beef. All rights reserved.
Thursday, March 14, 2013
Monday, January 28, 2013
My Breathness
A few years ago I stood beside the coffin of someone I had known for more than two decades. One of the things that I noticed was the barely perceptible pull at the lips where they had been sewn shut. Seeing that took the knowledge of the inevitability of my own death deeper into my heart. One day my lips will be sewn shut and people will be peering into my coffin.
I have never truly felt myself invincible. Attending funerals at various intervals throughout my childhood and youth helped me know that death was a possibility. That knowing, though, was superficial and didn't penetrate into my depths.
As a senior in nursing school I did my last semester's rotation in the Emergency Department. One morning my preceptor and I assisted another nurse in turning her patient to his side. His trach proclaimed that he had some serious health problems, but had coped with them for years. A habitual glance at the monitors showed stable vital signs. A few hours later my preceptor volunteered us to do a "bag and tag" to prepare a body for the morgue to add to my educational experience. I was shocked to walk in the room and see his body. I had no idea he was dying. I tore back through my memories to determine if I had been kind, gentle & patient. I was relieved that I had been. But if I had known that my hands were going to be some of the last to touch him, would I have been even kinder? The reality of death sunk deeper into my heart at that moment.
I continued to see death throughout my career. Sometimes I fought it hard, quietly determined, focused on restoring life. Sometimes I helped ease it in, comforting the departing and the remaining. One time I raged against it. A patient died, who I knew would die, who didn't want to die, but his body gurgled to a stop anyhow. He is the only patient I ever cried over.
But death never sunk deep until I stood in the mausoleum.
I knew that if I were to die soon, there would be countless people who mourned me. I felt their ache, praying that they be spared the pain. But I also knew that in a few generations, no one would mourn. I don't miss my great grand parents. I know where just one of them is buried. I don't even know all their names.
I am not that far removed from being a skeleton whose memory is limited to name and dates. Even if my descendants research my life, they will not know my mannerisms or my character. I am a vapor. This life will pass quickly, leaving little to no trace on humanity. There are a few hundred people on the planet who know me. Less than that have been impacted by me. Fewer still love me. The men and women who are known by millions eventually become names in history books. How much smaller am I? I am a fool to build my significance in this life.
I haven't figured out what I am to do with this. The deep knowledge whispers to me frequently. I will soon be a skeleton. My life is as quick as a breath. Just as individual breaths go unnoticed in our body, so will I. The paradox, though, is that breaths matter. Each inhale/exhale cycle has sustained life, has contributed to health. So I am nothing, but I am crucial. I do not matter to the world, but I matter to my family.
Perhaps I am learning this lesson because I inherited a pride that convinced me of my importance. Maybe it is to help me focus on what will last, namely the spirit of each person. Or maybe, I'm just getting older. *gasp!* Then again, if I realize how little I am, it is a lot easier to bow to Almighty God and proclaim His glory. He alone lasts. He will never be a skeleton. It thrills me to know that some prairie woman may have camped at this very spot and read the Bible. It said the exact same thing then as it does now. God does not change. His love remains, His judgment remains. Only His word abides forever.
As a father has compassion on his children,
so the Lord has compassion on those who fear him;
for he knows how we are formed,
he remembers that we are dust.
The life of mortals is like grass,
they flourish like a flower of the field;
the wind blows over it and it is gone,
and its place remembers it no more.
But from everlasting to everlasting
the Lord’s love is with those who fear him,
and his righteousness with their children’s children—
with those who keep his covenant
and remember to obey his precepts.
Psalm 103:13-18 NIV
copyright (c) Elizabeth, Bug's Beef. All rights reserved.
I have never truly felt myself invincible. Attending funerals at various intervals throughout my childhood and youth helped me know that death was a possibility. That knowing, though, was superficial and didn't penetrate into my depths.
As a senior in nursing school I did my last semester's rotation in the Emergency Department. One morning my preceptor and I assisted another nurse in turning her patient to his side. His trach proclaimed that he had some serious health problems, but had coped with them for years. A habitual glance at the monitors showed stable vital signs. A few hours later my preceptor volunteered us to do a "bag and tag" to prepare a body for the morgue to add to my educational experience. I was shocked to walk in the room and see his body. I had no idea he was dying. I tore back through my memories to determine if I had been kind, gentle & patient. I was relieved that I had been. But if I had known that my hands were going to be some of the last to touch him, would I have been even kinder? The reality of death sunk deeper into my heart at that moment.
I continued to see death throughout my career. Sometimes I fought it hard, quietly determined, focused on restoring life. Sometimes I helped ease it in, comforting the departing and the remaining. One time I raged against it. A patient died, who I knew would die, who didn't want to die, but his body gurgled to a stop anyhow. He is the only patient I ever cried over.
But death never sunk deep until I stood in the mausoleum.
I knew that if I were to die soon, there would be countless people who mourned me. I felt their ache, praying that they be spared the pain. But I also knew that in a few generations, no one would mourn. I don't miss my great grand parents. I know where just one of them is buried. I don't even know all their names.
I am not that far removed from being a skeleton whose memory is limited to name and dates. Even if my descendants research my life, they will not know my mannerisms or my character. I am a vapor. This life will pass quickly, leaving little to no trace on humanity. There are a few hundred people on the planet who know me. Less than that have been impacted by me. Fewer still love me. The men and women who are known by millions eventually become names in history books. How much smaller am I? I am a fool to build my significance in this life.
I haven't figured out what I am to do with this. The deep knowledge whispers to me frequently. I will soon be a skeleton. My life is as quick as a breath. Just as individual breaths go unnoticed in our body, so will I. The paradox, though, is that breaths matter. Each inhale/exhale cycle has sustained life, has contributed to health. So I am nothing, but I am crucial. I do not matter to the world, but I matter to my family.
Perhaps I am learning this lesson because I inherited a pride that convinced me of my importance. Maybe it is to help me focus on what will last, namely the spirit of each person. Or maybe, I'm just getting older. *gasp!* Then again, if I realize how little I am, it is a lot easier to bow to Almighty God and proclaim His glory. He alone lasts. He will never be a skeleton. It thrills me to know that some prairie woman may have camped at this very spot and read the Bible. It said the exact same thing then as it does now. God does not change. His love remains, His judgment remains. Only His word abides forever.
As a father has compassion on his children,
so the Lord has compassion on those who fear him;
for he knows how we are formed,
he remembers that we are dust.
The life of mortals is like grass,
they flourish like a flower of the field;
the wind blows over it and it is gone,
and its place remembers it no more.
But from everlasting to everlasting
the Lord’s love is with those who fear him,
and his righteousness with their children’s children—
with those who keep his covenant
and remember to obey his precepts.
Psalm 103:13-18 NIV
copyright (c) Elizabeth, Bug's Beef. All rights reserved.
Tuesday, January 8, 2013
A Lazy Winter Afternoon
The sun is happily shining and the month-old snow is melting. I should be making bread or shaking my groove-thing with the ZumbaFit Wii game I got for Christmas. But alas, I am feeling lazy this Tuesday afternoon.
My husband left for the other side of the planet on Sunday. That evening I went into hyperactive mode. I changed linens, did laundry, made my faucet shine & exercised. All while still parenting my boys. I was so full of energy that I planned to exercise twice a day, every day for the next two weeks. I had a lovely daydream about my husband's jaw dropping in the airport as he beheld his shockingly thin & toned wife.
But then I woke up yesterday. My energy did not wake with me. I dragged myself through the day. Mid-morning I made myself stand up while talking to N to keep from falling asleep. I took a long, hard nap yesterday afternoon. I didn't exercise one bit.
Today I think I have returned to baseline, though the laziness is hanging on some. I ran an errand this morning, I held it together while N tested every boundary he's been given, I emptied the dishwasher. There is laundry in the dryer, but it has promised not to walk off. There are baby clothes soaking in the sink, but I'm thinking those stains are so stubborn that they'll soak awhile longer. When I'm done with this little update I'll probably make myself start on the bread. It depends on how long I dawdle. I have to time it right so that I'm not kneading bread when T wakes up.
There are a number of things I've been wanting to write about lately. But the list is on my phone, and it is plugged in. A whole ten feet away. So for now, know that there are some brilliant, deep thoughts rolling about in my head & soul. You will be thrilled and challenged by them. If you are anxious to know, or just irritated, you can pray that God strengthens me to overcome my laziness.
In an effort to not completely waste your time with my ramblings, here's a picture of N putting T's sock on. He was frustrated at how wiggly T is, but didn't give up. It is interesting to see N take so much responsibility on himself. Since my man and I are both first born children we planned on never making our oldest feel responsible for his younger siblings.We want him to know that family watches out for each other, but we are the parents. His main job is to enjoy his brother. Perhaps it is just his personality, or maybe birth order effects us more than we know, but most days we are encouraging N to be a brother, not a daddy.
My husband left for the other side of the planet on Sunday. That evening I went into hyperactive mode. I changed linens, did laundry, made my faucet shine & exercised. All while still parenting my boys. I was so full of energy that I planned to exercise twice a day, every day for the next two weeks. I had a lovely daydream about my husband's jaw dropping in the airport as he beheld his shockingly thin & toned wife.
But then I woke up yesterday. My energy did not wake with me. I dragged myself through the day. Mid-morning I made myself stand up while talking to N to keep from falling asleep. I took a long, hard nap yesterday afternoon. I didn't exercise one bit.
Today I think I have returned to baseline, though the laziness is hanging on some. I ran an errand this morning, I held it together while N tested every boundary he's been given, I emptied the dishwasher. There is laundry in the dryer, but it has promised not to walk off. There are baby clothes soaking in the sink, but I'm thinking those stains are so stubborn that they'll soak awhile longer. When I'm done with this little update I'll probably make myself start on the bread. It depends on how long I dawdle. I have to time it right so that I'm not kneading bread when T wakes up.
There are a number of things I've been wanting to write about lately. But the list is on my phone, and it is plugged in. A whole ten feet away. So for now, know that there are some brilliant, deep thoughts rolling about in my head & soul. You will be thrilled and challenged by them. If you are anxious to know, or just irritated, you can pray that God strengthens me to overcome my laziness.
In an effort to not completely waste your time with my ramblings, here's a picture of N putting T's sock on. He was frustrated at how wiggly T is, but didn't give up. It is interesting to see N take so much responsibility on himself. Since my man and I are both first born children we planned on never making our oldest feel responsible for his younger siblings.We want him to know that family watches out for each other, but we are the parents. His main job is to enjoy his brother. Perhaps it is just his personality, or maybe birth order effects us more than we know, but most days we are encouraging N to be a brother, not a daddy.
copyright (c) Elizabeth, Bug's Beef. All rights reserved.
Friday, December 14, 2012
Tidbits
Oh Christmas Tree:
This is the only place our Christmas tree is safe from little fingers this year.
But I couldn't stop at a teensy one foot-thing. So we put one outside, too.
Adoption Update:
We are home study approved!
Our family profile is in the mail.
Light show:
One of my husband's bosses gave us tickets to an outdoor Christmas light display. It was awesome! Over 3 million lights bedecked a mill, danced across a covered bridge and filled a gorge as a nearby waterfall roared through the night.
Book Review:
I finished War and Peace. Woot woot! I read it on my husband's e-reader. I am usually opposed to electronic books, however I highly recommend using one to help you plow through this tome. It is long and it uses antiquated language. Having a built in dictionary was a big time saver. And when you are reading War and Peace, you can use all the time savers you can get. Almost every time I highlighted a word I wasn't familiar with the definition started with "archaic."
I enjoyed the book and will probably recommend it to my sons once they are adults. I want to be sure they have a rock-solid, healthy view of women before they read Tolstoy's versions of females. Only one character felt "real." The rest were over- sexualized, hyper-spiritualized or mere shadows of people.
It was a fun way to help make history come alive. It certainly helped me keep the dates and facts of European events straight. Tolstoy did a brilliant job of blurring fact and fiction so that the reader feels he/she is privy to Napoleon's thoughts.
Mental/Emotional/Spiritual Status:
I'm all over the board. Having the house and the adoption up in the air is a daily test. Continuing our search for a church family has lead me to dread Sundays. I know that God has me in this place of struggle for a reason. Some days I feel like I'm close to peace and growth and other days I just feel pathetic and like I'm never going to mature. Some days I reach for my Bible and praise music. Other days I reach for internet surfing and chocolate. I vacillate between wanting to have hope for my future and just wanting to give up and live a small, lonely life. I don't think I have found any middle ground yet. Fortunately, I lived a roller coaster existence from about 14 years old to 23 years old. So I'm not throwing up, just a bit dizzy. 
Cookies:
Mama did good. I googled a recipe for vegan chocolate chip cookies and came across this recipe. In addition to giving me a recipe, the blog gave me inspiration to take pictures. Commence drooling.
copyright (c) Elizabeth, Bug's Beef. All rights reserved.
Tuesday, November 27, 2012
Allergy Free Thanksgiving
Yes! It IS possible.
This year I made my very first Thanksgiving meal. This is the only time in my life that I have not celebrated the holiday with extended family. It was a marvelous day, hanging at home with my boys. It did feel a little odd to not have more loved ones milling about the place, though.
It is a blessing that I had never made an entire Thanksgiving spread on my own before. I didn't have to re-learn how to make everything this year. I'm hoping that T will outgrow his allergies in about six years. Thanksgiving 2018 may be problematic, as I suddenly figure out how to do everything with allergens. The challenge to make a holiday meal that was dairy-free, egg-free, nut-free and soy-free was no different than making dinner any other day of the year. It just took longer.
Now for a review and recipes!
The turkey.
Ugh. I have such a love-hate relationship with turkey. White meat is icky. Dark meat is yummy. If only a turkey could be entirely dark meat. I would be deeply satisfied to have no turkey at Thanksgiving lunch. I do so love a turkey sandwich for dinner Thanksgiving night, though.
My angst was compounded by trying to find a turkey that didn't have a bunch of chemicals injected in it. I found some {happy dance} but they were whole, 20lb turkeys {despairing sigh.} I refused to buy a turkey that would feed us for six months. I went to a local health food store and found turkey breasts {yes!} that didn't have anything injected in them {yes! yes!} but did have a wee bit of dark meat still attached {yes! yes! yes!} I then went to the check out with my little 9lb turkey. {dark clouds roll in} I placed it on the conveyor belt. {cue the scary music} Blissfully ignorant of my impending doom, I happily congratulated myself for both hunting and gathering a worthy bird for our meal. It cost $55. {gasp. heart flip-flop. blink. look around in a daze. drop head in defeat.} I still bought the thing, though. It was either that or eat lunch meat. I had already looked in every other grocery store. I simply resolved to cook it up right and then eat rice & beans for a month.
Cook it up right, I did. My brilliant sister recommended I brine the turkey. She said I should find Alton Brown's brine. I asked who he was. She was horrified that I had never heard of dear Alton. And not eye-rolling, you're-so-dumb-horrified. It was a deep sigh, I'm-so-sad-for-you-horrified. I actually just had to google his name again to remember it. I did find the brine, though. And it is FABULOUS! Not only is it delicious, it is already allergy-friendly. I didn't have to adapt a single thing. Click here to find it. Always cook your turkey with this recipe. If you have extra brine, like I did, you can use it in your mashed potatoes, or as the broth in soup. I actually used the left overs for both of those things.
That turkey was the gift that kept on giving. I still have half of it frozen in the freezer and we have had four meals with the other half. So if I divide the chest-pain inducing total of fifty-five dollars by eight meals, I only spent $7 per meal. Not bad, after all.
I cooked it in the crock pot in an effort to make it more juicy. It was okay. I still don't like white meat. Unless it is smothered in veganaise and squished between two pieces of bread. The crock pot also gave me room in the oven to make the other dishes. For crock pot cooking recommendations, click here.
Wow, I've been wordy. I have even been going back and deleting myself, but still this is a long post. I will try to double-time it through the rest of the dishes.
The mashed potatoes.
I discovered how to make delicious dairy-free mashed potatoes last year when T was first born. We were following a dairy-free diet at the time for abdominal comfort reasons. One of the women from our church brought us a delicious dinner that included mashed potatoes. She said she used chicken broth instead of butter and milk. Oh my! They were so much better than my own. I have been using broth ever since then. But since I had extra brine and it was so yummy, I used it and our version of butter.
The stuffing/dressing.
Hit it out of the park! I had never made stuffing before and I was thrilled with the results. I was particularly happy it turned out so well, because it took such effort to make. I made my own bread a few days beforehand. I have not been able to find allergy-free bread, so I make my own. And I don't have a bread machine. My bread recipe is a combination of this one and this one. And since I love combining recipes, I did the same thing for the dressing itsself. I combined this with the traditional family one my mom handed down to me. The recipe isn't a secret, it just isn't typed up anywhere. Hopefully I'll remember exactly what I did and duplicate it again sometime soon.
The sweet potato souffle.
Meh. It was so-so. Egg replacer can only do so much. Also, I opted not to put the coconut & sugar on top. I didn't think it would be the same without the nuts. And it really isn't supposed to be a dessert. My boys liked it, but they never had the original, so they don't know any better. I'll probably try to do something different next year.
The pumpkin pie.
Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy! This turned out so well. I found an incredible vegan pie crust recipe. Click here to get the recipe. So yummy! My husband fell in love all over again. Adapting the traditional recipe you find on the side of the can was otherwise easy with coconut milk & egg replacer. And the whipped cream on top? That would be the thick stuff that floats to the top of the cans of coconut milk, whipped with sugar.
If I can pull together a Thanksgiving dinner that doesn't kill anyone, you can too!
copyright (c) Elizabeth, Bug's Beef. All rights reserved.
This year I made my very first Thanksgiving meal. This is the only time in my life that I have not celebrated the holiday with extended family. It was a marvelous day, hanging at home with my boys. It did feel a little odd to not have more loved ones milling about the place, though.
It is a blessing that I had never made an entire Thanksgiving spread on my own before. I didn't have to re-learn how to make everything this year. I'm hoping that T will outgrow his allergies in about six years. Thanksgiving 2018 may be problematic, as I suddenly figure out how to do everything with allergens. The challenge to make a holiday meal that was dairy-free, egg-free, nut-free and soy-free was no different than making dinner any other day of the year. It just took longer.
Now for a review and recipes!
The turkey.
Ugh. I have such a love-hate relationship with turkey. White meat is icky. Dark meat is yummy. If only a turkey could be entirely dark meat. I would be deeply satisfied to have no turkey at Thanksgiving lunch. I do so love a turkey sandwich for dinner Thanksgiving night, though.
My angst was compounded by trying to find a turkey that didn't have a bunch of chemicals injected in it. I found some {happy dance} but they were whole, 20lb turkeys {despairing sigh.} I refused to buy a turkey that would feed us for six months. I went to a local health food store and found turkey breasts {yes!} that didn't have anything injected in them {yes! yes!} but did have a wee bit of dark meat still attached {yes! yes! yes!} I then went to the check out with my little 9lb turkey. {dark clouds roll in} I placed it on the conveyor belt. {cue the scary music} Blissfully ignorant of my impending doom, I happily congratulated myself for both hunting and gathering a worthy bird for our meal. It cost $55. {gasp. heart flip-flop. blink. look around in a daze. drop head in defeat.} I still bought the thing, though. It was either that or eat lunch meat. I had already looked in every other grocery store. I simply resolved to cook it up right and then eat rice & beans for a month.
Cook it up right, I did. My brilliant sister recommended I brine the turkey. She said I should find Alton Brown's brine. I asked who he was. She was horrified that I had never heard of dear Alton. And not eye-rolling, you're-so-dumb-horrified. It was a deep sigh, I'm-so-sad-for-you-horrified. I actually just had to google his name again to remember it. I did find the brine, though. And it is FABULOUS! Not only is it delicious, it is already allergy-friendly. I didn't have to adapt a single thing. Click here to find it. Always cook your turkey with this recipe. If you have extra brine, like I did, you can use it in your mashed potatoes, or as the broth in soup. I actually used the left overs for both of those things.
That turkey was the gift that kept on giving. I still have half of it frozen in the freezer and we have had four meals with the other half. So if I divide the chest-pain inducing total of fifty-five dollars by eight meals, I only spent $7 per meal. Not bad, after all.
I cooked it in the crock pot in an effort to make it more juicy. It was okay. I still don't like white meat. Unless it is smothered in veganaise and squished between two pieces of bread. The crock pot also gave me room in the oven to make the other dishes. For crock pot cooking recommendations, click here.
Wow, I've been wordy. I have even been going back and deleting myself, but still this is a long post. I will try to double-time it through the rest of the dishes.
The mashed potatoes.
 |
(I couldn't figure out how to make the white blob of potatoes look pretty, so here it is with some friends)
|
The stuffing/dressing.
Hit it out of the park! I had never made stuffing before and I was thrilled with the results. I was particularly happy it turned out so well, because it took such effort to make. I made my own bread a few days beforehand. I have not been able to find allergy-free bread, so I make my own. And I don't have a bread machine. My bread recipe is a combination of this one and this one. And since I love combining recipes, I did the same thing for the dressing itsself. I combined this with the traditional family one my mom handed down to me. The recipe isn't a secret, it just isn't typed up anywhere. Hopefully I'll remember exactly what I did and duplicate it again sometime soon.
The sweet potato souffle.
Meh. It was so-so. Egg replacer can only do so much. Also, I opted not to put the coconut & sugar on top. I didn't think it would be the same without the nuts. And it really isn't supposed to be a dessert. My boys liked it, but they never had the original, so they don't know any better. I'll probably try to do something different next year.
The pumpkin pie.
Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy! This turned out so well. I found an incredible vegan pie crust recipe. Click here to get the recipe. So yummy! My husband fell in love all over again. Adapting the traditional recipe you find on the side of the can was otherwise easy with coconut milk & egg replacer. And the whipped cream on top? That would be the thick stuff that floats to the top of the cans of coconut milk, whipped with sugar.
If I can pull together a Thanksgiving dinner that doesn't kill anyone, you can too!
copyright (c) Elizabeth, Bug's Beef. All rights reserved.
Wednesday, November 14, 2012
National Adoption Awareness Month
Our adoption consultant, Tracie posted the following on her blog. She gives great information on what to do when people around you are adopting. To go directly to her blog, click here.
Support, Love, Serve, and Celebrate
It’s easy to know what to do when a family is about to give birth to a child. If you’re a good friend, you throw a baby shower; you might even help clean or watch kiddos when the expectant momma is nearing the end of her pregnancy. You might volunteer to watch any other kiddos when she goes into labor. You might start a meal calendar so she doesn’t have to cook those first two weeks home with a new born. We’ve been doing this forever, we know what to do.
When a family enters into the adoption journey, we sometimes forget that they need the same, if not even greater support.
Adoption takes a community. It takes a family of friends and loved ones gathering around to support, love, serve, and celebrate with a family that is growing through adoption.
SUPPORT:
Adoption is costly. Many families who have said yes to adoption are not sitting there with a pile of money ready to go. You can help by giving.
(And let’s just dismantle the notion that you shouldn’t have to give to an adoptive family because it is their choice to have a child, just like you don’t give to pay for the hospital bill of a family giving birth to a child. Rubish! It’s not the same thing at all. As one dear friend of mine has said for years about serving and giving and loving well, “You don’t have to, YOU GET TO!” It’s a privilege to give and support adoptive families, and I challenge you to give it a try. I’m 100% sure you will be blessed!)
-Give Financially: Most families are able to set up ways for others to contribute that give the donors a tax deduction for charitable giving. It can be as easy as 300 people donating $100 can cover the cost of an average adoption.
-Give of your Talent: I’ve seen artists, photographers, jewelers, you name it… donate services or products to sell for adoption fundraisers. One of my clients had a friend donate bracelets and this simple little jewelry sale raised $1000, then to top it all off her uncle agreed to donate an additional $5 for every bracelet sold! My son raised $5000 for our international adoptions by donating his time as a photographer doing family photo shoots in our local community, he was 15 years old. Anyone can give!
-Give of other Resources: Donate flight miles for travel, discounts on hotel or hotel points, donate a condo or time share in the area where the family is traveling, host an adoptive family in your home if they are traveling to your area. One sweet family was welcomed into the home of a widow after they called churches in the area where the daughter was going to be born to see if anyone might be willing to host them. They ended up developing a life-long relationship with this sweet woman. Having a place to stay at no cost to the adoptive family can save the family $1000-3000. What a gift!
-Help with Fundraisers: Adoptive families often fundraise through hosting garage sales, benefit dinner, or other community events. Donate to yard sales, volunteer to cook for a fundraising dinner. Help gather or donate items for an online auction or live/silent auction at a fundraising event. Auctions can contain donate items or services. (Be creative: babysitting services that include bringing pizza to feed the kids, hair cutting, massage gift certificates, house cleaning, whatever your gift or talent, GIVE!)
LOVE:
Adoption is a journey of the heart. It is emotionally exhausting. A family who is in the process of adoption needs to be supported by love and friendship.
-Listen- Be part of their journey by listening. Sometimes having someone listen is the most precious gift an adoptive parent can receive.
-Pray- Pray for an adoptive family as they prepare for adoption and welcome a child into their home. Pray for financial provision, pray for emotional strength, pray for God to direct every step of their journey. One adoptive momma recently shared with me that her friend were hosting a “Prayer Shower” both before baby and after baby’s arrival. What a precious gift!
-Ask- Ask the simple questions: “How are you doing?” or “What can I do to help?” and insist on an answer.
SERVE:
Adoption is hard work. Seemingly endless paperwork, traveling to welcome a child, traveling home, adjusting to life with a new family member. You can help ease the strain.
-Give Time: You can give the family time to complete paperwork by helping watch other children during the home study process, give the couple a “date night” so they can connect and work through adoption decisions and planning.
-Child Care: If a family is traveling they may need support at home. Help with child care while they are away from home, or volunteer to travel with them to watch their child/children there. When they get home, this support is needed more than ever. Even a couple of hours a week volunteering to take other young children to the park, or even overnight for pizza and a movie, allows the new adoptive family to have time to bond and rest.
-Household: I’ve had adoptive families share with me that some of the most loving gifts they have received are gifts of service: house cleaning, providing meals, mowing the lawn, or other household projects. One family shared that their friends got together and gave their home a “deep clean” while they were out of state for their adoption. What a blessing to come home to a clean house! Another shared that she had a friend come over several times a week just to wash and put away dishes, help with laundry and other household chores. Larger families have been blessed by having friends manage their family’s carpooling needs to school, lessons, practice, etc.
CELEBRATE:
Celebrate with the family and rejoice with them over their new arrival. This is easy and so much fun!
- Baby Shower: Yes, an adoptive family needs a baby shower too! If the family is adopting an older child or children, they need a shower too! Clothing, toys, you name it, they need it all! This can be before baby or after baby comes home as a welcome baby time!
-Meal Shower: So many great options for making this easy with online signups via websites like Meal Baby. Restaurant gift cards can be ordered and given through a website like this as well, so that out of town family and friends can share in this gift! This is one of the best gifts ever for an adoptive family.
-Food Shower: Fill an adoptive families cupboards and freezer with food, give a grocery story gift card.
-Hand Me Downs: Yes, we want your gently used baby/child items! Good quality car seats, strollers, baby carriers, clothing! Give it! A number of families (including my own) have been blessed by last minute drop offs when the adoption happens fast and there is not time to have a baby shower!
ADOPT: Yes, you can adopt an adoptive family. We have been blessed to have been adopted by some very precious people over the past few years. They have chosen us, adopted our children, taken on the role as extra grandparents, aunties, and uncles. They have given financially to us, sent gifts to our children, and prayed for us faithfully. If you are “too old” to adopt or “too young” to adopt, but have a heart for adoption, I urge you to adopt a family. You won’t regret it.
GIVE RESPITE: Give the gift of your time to baby sit whether for an evening so adoptive parents can have a date, or for a weekend to give them time to get away and reconnect. This is invaluable to any adoptive family.
SERVE: You can give of your time and talents. We have a wonderful young man who contacted us sharing his heart for adoption. He said, “One day my wife and I want to adopt, but for now we want to be available to serve your family.” He went on to share that he was talented as a contractor and would love to be available to do little fix it jobs for us. He’s been such a blessing!
WELCOME AND INCLUDE: Invite adoptive families over for dinner, include them in play groups or mom’s outings, call and text and let them know you continue to pray for them.
Support, Love, Serve, and Celebrate
It’s easy to know what to do when a family is about to give birth to a child. If you’re a good friend, you throw a baby shower; you might even help clean or watch kiddos when the expectant momma is nearing the end of her pregnancy. You might volunteer to watch any other kiddos when she goes into labor. You might start a meal calendar so she doesn’t have to cook those first two weeks home with a new born. We’ve been doing this forever, we know what to do.
When a family enters into the adoption journey, we sometimes forget that they need the same, if not even greater support.
Adoption takes a community. It takes a family of friends and loved ones gathering around to support, love, serve, and celebrate with a family that is growing through adoption.
SUPPORT:
Adoption is costly. Many families who have said yes to adoption are not sitting there with a pile of money ready to go. You can help by giving.
(And let’s just dismantle the notion that you shouldn’t have to give to an adoptive family because it is their choice to have a child, just like you don’t give to pay for the hospital bill of a family giving birth to a child. Rubish! It’s not the same thing at all. As one dear friend of mine has said for years about serving and giving and loving well, “You don’t have to, YOU GET TO!” It’s a privilege to give and support adoptive families, and I challenge you to give it a try. I’m 100% sure you will be blessed!)
-Give Financially: Most families are able to set up ways for others to contribute that give the donors a tax deduction for charitable giving. It can be as easy as 300 people donating $100 can cover the cost of an average adoption.
-Give of your Talent: I’ve seen artists, photographers, jewelers, you name it… donate services or products to sell for adoption fundraisers. One of my clients had a friend donate bracelets and this simple little jewelry sale raised $1000, then to top it all off her uncle agreed to donate an additional $5 for every bracelet sold! My son raised $5000 for our international adoptions by donating his time as a photographer doing family photo shoots in our local community, he was 15 years old. Anyone can give!
-Give of other Resources: Donate flight miles for travel, discounts on hotel or hotel points, donate a condo or time share in the area where the family is traveling, host an adoptive family in your home if they are traveling to your area. One sweet family was welcomed into the home of a widow after they called churches in the area where the daughter was going to be born to see if anyone might be willing to host them. They ended up developing a life-long relationship with this sweet woman. Having a place to stay at no cost to the adoptive family can save the family $1000-3000. What a gift!
-Help with Fundraisers: Adoptive families often fundraise through hosting garage sales, benefit dinner, or other community events. Donate to yard sales, volunteer to cook for a fundraising dinner. Help gather or donate items for an online auction or live/silent auction at a fundraising event. Auctions can contain donate items or services. (Be creative: babysitting services that include bringing pizza to feed the kids, hair cutting, massage gift certificates, house cleaning, whatever your gift or talent, GIVE!)
LOVE:
Adoption is a journey of the heart. It is emotionally exhausting. A family who is in the process of adoption needs to be supported by love and friendship.
-Listen- Be part of their journey by listening. Sometimes having someone listen is the most precious gift an adoptive parent can receive.
-Pray- Pray for an adoptive family as they prepare for adoption and welcome a child into their home. Pray for financial provision, pray for emotional strength, pray for God to direct every step of their journey. One adoptive momma recently shared with me that her friend were hosting a “Prayer Shower” both before baby and after baby’s arrival. What a precious gift!
-Ask- Ask the simple questions: “How are you doing?” or “What can I do to help?” and insist on an answer.
SERVE:
Adoption is hard work. Seemingly endless paperwork, traveling to welcome a child, traveling home, adjusting to life with a new family member. You can help ease the strain.
-Give Time: You can give the family time to complete paperwork by helping watch other children during the home study process, give the couple a “date night” so they can connect and work through adoption decisions and planning.
-Child Care: If a family is traveling they may need support at home. Help with child care while they are away from home, or volunteer to travel with them to watch their child/children there. When they get home, this support is needed more than ever. Even a couple of hours a week volunteering to take other young children to the park, or even overnight for pizza and a movie, allows the new adoptive family to have time to bond and rest.
-Household: I’ve had adoptive families share with me that some of the most loving gifts they have received are gifts of service: house cleaning, providing meals, mowing the lawn, or other household projects. One family shared that their friends got together and gave their home a “deep clean” while they were out of state for their adoption. What a blessing to come home to a clean house! Another shared that she had a friend come over several times a week just to wash and put away dishes, help with laundry and other household chores. Larger families have been blessed by having friends manage their family’s carpooling needs to school, lessons, practice, etc.
CELEBRATE:
Celebrate with the family and rejoice with them over their new arrival. This is easy and so much fun!
- Baby Shower: Yes, an adoptive family needs a baby shower too! If the family is adopting an older child or children, they need a shower too! Clothing, toys, you name it, they need it all! This can be before baby or after baby comes home as a welcome baby time!
-Meal Shower: So many great options for making this easy with online signups via websites like Meal Baby. Restaurant gift cards can be ordered and given through a website like this as well, so that out of town family and friends can share in this gift! This is one of the best gifts ever for an adoptive family.
-Food Shower: Fill an adoptive families cupboards and freezer with food, give a grocery story gift card.
-Hand Me Downs: Yes, we want your gently used baby/child items! Good quality car seats, strollers, baby carriers, clothing! Give it! A number of families (including my own) have been blessed by last minute drop offs when the adoption happens fast and there is not time to have a baby shower!
AND KEEP ON GIVING!
You may not be called to adopt, but we are ALL called to LOVE and you can be part of an adoptive family’s life for a lifetime of giving, supporting, loving, and celebrating. It doesn’t have to stop with the airport welcome committee. It CAN’T STOP THERE! Over the years we have been blessed to have many people give, serve, love, and celebrate way beyond our “Welcome Home” party.ADOPT: Yes, you can adopt an adoptive family. We have been blessed to have been adopted by some very precious people over the past few years. They have chosen us, adopted our children, taken on the role as extra grandparents, aunties, and uncles. They have given financially to us, sent gifts to our children, and prayed for us faithfully. If you are “too old” to adopt or “too young” to adopt, but have a heart for adoption, I urge you to adopt a family. You won’t regret it.
GIVE RESPITE: Give the gift of your time to baby sit whether for an evening so adoptive parents can have a date, or for a weekend to give them time to get away and reconnect. This is invaluable to any adoptive family.
SERVE: You can give of your time and talents. We have a wonderful young man who contacted us sharing his heart for adoption. He said, “One day my wife and I want to adopt, but for now we want to be available to serve your family.” He went on to share that he was talented as a contractor and would love to be available to do little fix it jobs for us. He’s been such a blessing!
WELCOME AND INCLUDE: Invite adoptive families over for dinner, include them in play groups or mom’s outings, call and text and let them know you continue to pray for them.
It’s never easy to ask for help, so it is my hope that this article will be helpful for adoptive families to share with their family and friends as a tool to help communicate their needs. I pray that those of you reading this who are not adopting but long to support adoption, will grab ahold of some of the ideas here and implement them. And be creative, this is just a guide, a tool to help you start!
copyright (c) Elizabeth, Bug's Beef. All rights reserved.
Wednesday, November 7, 2012
Reece's Rainbow Update
My, but I've been a blogging fool lately.
Don't worry, I will soon fall off the map again and quit flooding your inbox. I thought you would like some follow up, though, on Reece's Rainbow.
Here's the message from them:
Thank you to Cultivate Wines! We came in second place and won $10,000 for our waiting children. Thank you to all of you for your votes each and every day! We have been blessed by your hard work on our behalf!
They used the money to put $1000 towards each of ten children's adoption expenses.
Remember, you can also find out information from Reece's Rainbow by going directly to their website: http://reecesrainbow.org/
copyright (c) Elizabeth, Bug's Beef. All rights reserved.
Don't worry, I will soon fall off the map again and quit flooding your inbox. I thought you would like some follow up, though, on Reece's Rainbow.
Here's the message from them:
Thank you to Cultivate Wines! We came in second place and won $10,000 for our waiting children. Thank you to all of you for your votes each and every day! We have been blessed by your hard work on our behalf!
They used the money to put $1000 towards each of ten children's adoption expenses.
Remember, you can also find out information from Reece's Rainbow by going directly to their website: http://reecesrainbow.org/
copyright (c) Elizabeth, Bug's Beef. All rights reserved.
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