Monday, December 5, 2011

Disappearing Me

I'm sure you noticed I haven't been posting to my blog much lately.

Don't feel bad, I haven't written in my journal much, either.
And I haven't read my Bible much.
I haven't spent much one on one time with my first born son.
I haven't prayed much, except to rage/beg/whimper and otherwise emotionally vomit on God.
I haven't spent much quality time with my husband.
The only thing I think I have done much of lately is feed the bottomless pit that I gave birth to two months ago. Fortunately, he's darling. And his latch is improving. But decidedly little gets done when I find myself sitting to nurse every one and half to three hours.

So I have disappeared. "Misappeared," to quote my three year old.

Unfortunately, it's not just my time and words that have vanished. My mind and heart went AWOL into a pit of self pity. I think yesterday marked the point of returning, though. I hope to write more about it soon. Jesus has shown me so much recently. The slow simmer of sleeplessness has brought up more dross in my life than the fast, flashing blazes of previous trials.

I really do want to write. I want to write for my sake. I want to write for the sake of whoever learns from my life. I want to write for the sake of Jesus' fame. Writing is important. My boys are more important.

Until I figure out how to care for my husband, my soul, my sons, my body, my home & my mind, I'm going to have to maintain this super slothful pace of blogging. Thanks for sticking with me.

Here are some pictures to help ease the wait. . .

N reading to T

Sweet T

My Men

Sweet N

copyright (c) Elizabeth, Bug's Beef. All rights reserved.

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